Full Service Sex Work
Doing sex work isn't easy, and most people engaging in it use some form of safety precaution to minimize the harm risk. Sex workers in Sweden and other countries with Nordic Model laws tell of their occupations being forced underground, and since clients are afraid to be taken by the cops they aren't as keen to verify themselves. This puts sex workers in more dangerous situations, but we hope these safety tips can help the people selling sex under current Swedish laws.
This guide is a continuation of a blog post by Petite Jasmine, originally written by St James Infirmary.
Before starting out
Acknowledge the importance of setting boundaries. Try figuring out beforehand what you're OK and not OK with, so your boundaries become clearer for yourself and possible clients.
Communicate your boundaries to the client before/at the beginning of the booking. This helps preventing uncomfortable negotiations when you've already started the booking.
Read up on the type of sex work you wish to do before starting out to be prepared for the decisions and considerations you have to take into account.
Use a work name that differs from your real name to protect your privacy.
Be aware that even if You feel at home with sex work, the rest of society has a very negative view on this sort of occupation. Be aware of the risk that there is always a possibility of being outed, and the possible consequences of it.
Use a work phone. Get a SIM-card that’s not registered in your name, as plans registered by name is easily searchable online in Sweden.
If you have your own website and wish to use a .se or .com domain make sure it’s not registered in your name.
Be careful when being photographed by others; make sure the photos aren’t saved anywhere when they’re ready. You can ask to sign a contract. If you have a smartphone or digital camera you can also take selfies.
Just like all other sexually active people it's important to check your sexual health regularly. Get tested for STI's regularly if possible.
Use good condoms and try keeping them in different sizes. If available, latex-free for allergic clients. If you don't have any condoms you can contact us.
Sex work can be an intense but isolating occupation. It can be good to try to maintain a life outside of sex work, if you're feeling lonely you're welcome to contact us.
It’s your body, your business and nobody else but you is the CEO.
Some quick tips!
Most clients aren’t dangerous but it can still be wise to be prepared for unforeseen events. Trust your guts. If something feels wrong, try declining politely and if you’re meeting irl remove yourself as fast as possible from the situation with as little discussion as possible.
Have a safety buddy you can call if needed. Let them know when you meet the client that you’re OK, your address and possible room number if it’s an outcall. Make sure the client observes you texting or calling your buddy (which can be faked even if you don’t have one) to minimize risk.
If you decide that you should call your safety buddy within a certain amount of time after the booking started, think of an action plan in case your safety buddy doesn’t hear from you. Example: If you haven’t called back within 70 minutes of booking start, should they: 1. come to the location? 2. continue calling you until you pick up? 3. call someone else/hotel lobby/emergency? If calling a third party it can be wiser to say that you tried calling your friend and you’re afraid that they might’ve suffered a heart attack instead of mentioning sex work.
Have an emergency phrase with your safety buddy. If you’re under threat but can’t communicate it clearly, decide beforehand on a code word that mean something’s wrong. Example: You and your safety buddy decides beforehand that if you call or text the phrase ”It’s all good!” that means you you are NOT okay and need them to proceed with certain actions.
Use your own condoms and sex toys.
Do your best to bring condoms and lube. It can also be nice to have access to wet wipes and hand sanitizer if you don't have access to running water. Band-aids can be useful if the client has a cut somewhere.
Negotiate prices and services beforehand and stick to them as much as you can. We know this can be hard if you're under economic pressure, you're doing your best and your self worth is not decided by what you charge.
Take a class in self-defense if it makes you feel safer.
Use a perfume or tiny hair spray bottle for self defense if necessary.
Always park your car out of sight from the location of the booking.
Keep track of your things and where the client is if possible. Bring your belongings into the bathroom when you need to use it.
Try staying calm even if you're scared.
If you send pictures don't forget to delete personal information stored in the picture before you send them.
Never blame yourself if things didn’t go the way you planned.
Negotiating with a client
Always negotiate before/at the start of the booking.
Have a set price list and do you best to keep to it. Decide beforehand what services you offer to avoid negotiation during booking.
Decide a late-limit. If the client is late you may lose money from bookings you could have done instead.
Be prepared to decline clients, offers and prices that are beyond your boundaries.
Shoes that are easy to put on/off or easy to run in.
If you’re using a wig make sure it’s the right size and put on correctly so it doesn’t come off.
Wear or bring clothing that can be put on fast. (tight jeans are not ideal.)
Use contact lenses if needed, but bring an extra pair of glasses just in case.
Getting picked up by a car
Approach the drivers window with caution, keep a distance to avoid getting dragged into the car, spat at, getting sprayed or approached by voyerists.
Look at the client, their car and the locking device.
Walk around the entire car to see if there are more people inside it.
Take the car registration number, or pretend doing so in front of the customer. You can text it to a safety buddy.
Negotiate the price and service before getting in the car.
Pretend to wave goodbye to a friend or shout the time you’ll be back.
Make sure the passenger seat can be opened from the inside.
Check the back seat and trunk, check under possible blankets if somebody might be hiding.
You can still change your mind when you’re in the car. Don’t close the door completely; if the client seems to be under the influence or acting strangely you can climb out of the car.
Don’t place the money the client pays you at the same place as the rest of your money.
Keep an eye on where the clients hands are so they don’t reach for something, a weapon for example.
If something happens: SCREAM! Blare the horn, turn on the flashers. Attack soft body parts like testicles, eyes, throat or nose. Remove yourself from the car and run AGAINST traffic so they can’t follow you.
Work smarter, not harder
Start early; clients with money usually don’t sleep until the afternoon.
Work hours are lucrative hours. Well-paid clients usually check the websites between 8-10 in the morning.
The earlier you work, the less risk to encounter clients under the influence and therefore less trouble.
If you make money early in the day you won’t be as stressed later which minimizes risk of making bad decisions.
Did you make decent money today? Turn of your phone and give yourself a break for the rest of the day. Self care is valuable.
Go to bed in time. If you’re up late it’s harder to get up early.
Get to know your customer! Their address, name, car registration number, registered telephone numer. The more you know about them the more they’re willing to behave well.
Be considerate of your returning customers. New clients always bear a risk of being stalkers, authority or bad clients.
Sex work can feel lonely which can make it harder. Having someone to share the odd, fun and general things happening at work can make things a lot easier. You will be happier about working if you can casually ventilate with colleagues.
Know your rights! The police does not have a right to demand your identification or money if you haven’t committed a crime (selling sex in Sweden is legal, buying is illegal). The social services do not have a right to take your children from you solely based on you doing sex work.
Try being as sober as possible while working.
Don’t put your prices too low. 1000 + 1000 = 2000 but 2000 + 2000 = 4000. More customers = more risks.
Get used to saying no if you can afford it. That gives you a higher chance of meeting nicer clients. Consider what you appreciate with a booking. Try to attract the kind of clientele you prefer with your marketing and skills.
Use a smartphone to sort out clients, see previous conversations and have direct access to your email. You can install apps that show clients calling from registered numbers and avoid the ones calling from unregistered numbers. Some phones might need to be jailbreaked.
Start a text-chain with warnings for other escorts. Make it a habit to save other escorts numbers from ads and warn them if needed. You’ll most likely be trusted back.
Check penis and testicles for possible anomalies like wounds, blisters or warts. Google images of STI’s and compare with photos of healthy genitals. Pull down the foreskin and squeeze the gland a little to check on possible fluids. Pre-cum should be transparent, free from smells and not especially sticky,
Use a condom every time you have sex, for oral too if possible. Use a dental dam, especially for rimming (oral-anal). Change condom between anal and vaginal sex.
Make sure no fluids are in contact with freshly shaved parts where tiny wounds may have occured.
Wash your hands before and after sex and contact with condoms or sex toys.
Condoms, dental dams and gloves should never be re-used.
Sex toys should be protected by condom and should be changed in between vaginal and anal sex. Use gloves and lube for fisting.
If there aren’t enough condoms available use a lot of lube to create a barrier in between fluids and possible wounds.
During threesomes or more sexual partners condoms should be changed in between each contact.
Use a tiny amount of lube at the top of the penis, this feels better for the client and reduces the risk of the condom breaking. It can also enhance orgasm.
Make sure the condom is put on right; squeeze the top and roll it all the way down to the bottom of the penis.
Check regularly if the condom is in place. Reach down with a hand to make sure it’s in place when being fucked from behind. Try identifying what a broken condom feels like, talk to others who have experienced it.
Alert others if the client attempts to remove the condom.
Prevent condoms from breaking
Keep it in a dry, cool and dark place.
Do not use condoms with expired dates.
Be careful when handling the condom when wearing jewelry or sharp nails.
Latex condoms must be used with water-based lube.
Change condom if the sexual act is extended, friction raises risk of breakage.
Prevent the condom from coming off
Roll down the condom all the way to the penis base.
Hold it steadily when the client pulls out.
There’s a higher risk of the condom coming off if the erection is weak.
Use condoms in the right size.
If the client keeps penetrating after orgasming there’s a risk of sperm ending up outside of the condom.
If it happens anyway
Immediately stop having sex.
The person with a penis should urinate as fast as possible and wash thoroughly, especially underneath the foreskin.
The person with a vagina should try to rinse out as much semen as possible from the vagina and/or anus, without accidentally scratching parts with sharp nails.
During oral sex the receiver should spit out any possible sperm and rinse the mouth with chlorhexidine-based mouth wash. Do not brush teeth until one hour after incident, small injuries may enable bacteria or virus to enter the body.
Use the-day-after pills if necessary.
If you believe you’re at a high risk of contracting HIV you can contact the infection clinic and demand a PEP-treatment. It must start within around 24 hours. High risk usually means men having sex with men or if your client comes from a country with high risks of HIV infections.